hbunot:

how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you



That isn’t very attractive dear, I wish you’d stop
— Gold star parent Nick Arnstein to his crying infant daughter


The last time I ate a burger and the last the I ate chicken have not been pleasant so I haven’t had either in months why aren’t I just a full blown vegetarian at this point I might as well be



omg so my dog is laying right next to me on my bed and right as i was about to reblog that last post he just looked up for 2 seconds and then went back to sleep and it was just really adorable so i almost tagged that last post with his name omg









oknope:

do you ever think how bitchy and annoying you really are and wonder how anyone ever tolerates you





youhavenochance:

Money can’t buy me happiness but it can buy me theatre tickets and that’s basically the same thing



bombing:

noseblow:

bombing:

i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood

that’s not how the joke goes lmao

do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you





eggplantsplit:

tyleroakley:

lindsaychrist:

i wont let this video die

nobody should

honestly my favorite part is my girl with the blue sweater



moosicals:

do you want to hear something sad? 

The Bridges of Madison County is Jason Robert Brown’s longest running show