how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you

That isn’t very attractive dear, I wish you’d stop
— Gold star parent Nick Arnstein to his crying infant daughter

The last time I ate a burger and the last the I ate chicken have not been pleasant so I haven’t had either in months why aren’t I just a full blown vegetarian at this point I might as well be

omg so my dog is laying right next to me on my bed and right as i was about to reblog that last post he just looked up for 2 seconds and then went back to sleep and it was just really adorable so i almost tagged that last post with his name omg


do you ever think how bitchy and annoying you really are and wonder how anyone ever tolerates you


Money can’t buy me happiness but it can buy me theatre tickets and that’s basically the same thing




i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood

that’s not how the joke goes lmao

do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you




i wont let this video die

nobody should

honestly my favorite part is my girl with the blue sweater


do you want to hear something sad? 

The Bridges of Madison County is Jason Robert Brown’s longest running show